Choice 1
Baby Swapper
About:
-Each year, you must swap at least one pair of babies between mothers.
-You have three years of preparation time.
-The swap can occur anywere--at the hospital nursery, social gatherings, or daycare. Though, I'd get on it early before the mother gets used to what their child looks like.
-You can stop after 35 years or when you are 55 years old, whatever takes LONGER.
Rules or Restrictions:
-If the mother finds out that her baby has been swapped within that year, it doesn't count.
-You are legally responsible for your actions if you are caught.
-If you fail to accomplish your swap in any year, you die.
Choice 2
Raise Someone Else's Shitty Kid
About:
-Think of some jackass dude in your life. The kind of person who tries to pile all their work on you, blame you for their wrong-doings, and talks bad about you to your supervisor when you're not around.
-That person will leave for a vacation to some douchey-sounding place (like "Bahrain") and leave their newborn kid with you for some reason or another.
-The person dies in a tragic "parasailing" accident and you are through some complicated court decision, forced to be the legal guardian of the child.
-You must then raise the child to adulthood and be there for him for the rest of his life like any normal parent.
-From very early, you will know that the child has very limited potential--she/he will not be very bright, will take forever to understand anything or learn how to play any sports, will have a C- average in school, and won't learn how to read the time on a clock until age 17.
-The child's interests will be in weird things in which you have very little understanding. For example, if you're the all-American type that likes playing and talking sports, the kid will be into various role-playing games that include wizards, sorcerers, and mages.
-Sometimes the child will seem to lose a grip on reality and get lost in his own fantasy world--for example, he may be more interested in trying to date the elves of the "whispering glen" than asking a real person out to a dance.
-He/she will want to bathe very rarely.
Rules or Restrictions:
-The child has to feel loved by you forever--if you give the child any reason to doubt that you do not care for him/her like a normal parent, you will die.
Please vote, then comment on the blog about why you voted the way you did.
(anyone is allowed to comment...you can even comment anonymously)
1 comment:
I voted for the shitty kid; but I feel like it's a too screwed scenario. I'm not sure I can make really not die under either circumstances. I mean, I think the baby-swap thing is a disaster waiting to happen with the whole getting arrested and not being able to swap future babies thing, but like I'm not sure I could deal with someone else's shitty kid any better. I mean you can deal with shitty kid for a while but once high school rolls around, it's like a whole new level of shitty kid. frig.
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